When you decide to forgive what goes into your decision?
When you decide to let go what is your process?
I sought out some help in this area from someone who was never really present in my life but his actions has seemed to follow me into my adult life.
I called my father. My father the first man that ever broke my heart. The man who broke my mother’s heart, and the only man I know that has played women in the gentlest way possible. It is weird my dad was simply a rolling stone with all the women he kept around him and all the random children that popped up as a result of it.
He is a man and he understands these things better than anyone. He understands the issues that I was dealing with, So in talking to my dad I tried to understand the actions of this particular person.
My dad actually was more help than I expected him to be.
He told me that a real true love is rare without issues and adversity. He said real love can’t be faked, can’t be doctored, the problems that you get over can’t be made up. He said do you think people that have been married 30-40 years never had problems never gave up. He told me a story about my aunt and uncle in the early stages of their marriage and it really opened my eyes.
He said when you really think about it REAL LOVE hurts. He said a woman does not give birth to a child without some form of pain but ultimately that pain brings a woman the greatest love they could ever imagine.
We talked about my children and the labor and child birth I went through. We talked about how my oldest daughter came into this world and how through that pain came the greatest gift God could ever give me.
He explained that a love for a man is not always going to be easy, there will be times when you want to give up or you guys want to strangle each other but if you decide to forgive and stick with a person that means you are defying the odds of what is currently reality of 2017, where women and men don’t fight for real love they give up and run. They think it is to hard.
So as our conversation was coming to a close my dad said ” I would like to apologize to you because of my actions of the past I was not there to really show you what real love is, I apologize that you did not have a male role model in your life to show you how to really love, I apologize that I was selfish and I abandoned you not just on a physical level of me not being present, but emotionally, and mentally little girls need their father and I was not there for you.”
My dad finally owned up to his hurt and pain. So as we hung up and promised to speak at a later date I couldn’t help but tear up thinking about how long I have waited for that. My dad sent me a text and said please find it in your heart to forgive, NEVER forget but forgive and move on if that love between you two is real then he will man up and fight for you.
My dad couldn’t have helped me more.